Consent Matters
For Yaoi to continue to grow globally and expand into the mainstream, it’s crucial to reform how consent is portrayed in its novels, manga, and films. Romanticizing coercion while avoiding accountability for its consequences is no longer acceptable—especially when creators today have more tools, awareness, and creative freedom to tell richer, more powerful, and emotionally impactful stories that don’t rely on outdated or harmful tropes.
When Yaoi normalizes coercion, it reinforces dangerous ideas about relationships, particularly for younger or impressionable readers who may mistakenly interpret these dynamics as acceptable or even romantic.
Unfortunately, many Yaoi stories still rely on the toxic trope where the uke—typically the more submissive character—initially resists the seme’s (dominant character’s) advances but later “gives in,” discovering that the seme was simply acting out of hidden affection. This narrative sends a damaging message: that “no” secretly means “yes,” or worse, that violence is merely passion in disguise.
Some fans may argue that “it’s just fiction,” but that’s exactly the point—it’s fiction with real-world impact. Stories that glorify non-consensual acts and reward them with romance ignore the trauma that such actions cause. What’s often missing in these narratives are two crucial elements:
The emotional consequences of violating consent
The reflection on what healthy intimacy should look like
So what needs to change?
If a Yaoi story features non-consensual elements, it must treat them with gravity, not romanticize them. There should be a realistic emotional fallout, including regret, self-examination, and awareness of the harm caused. Ideally, such stories should explore what could have happened if consent had been present, thereby highlighting its importance.
Since most Yaoi works are written by women, it's essential to bring in LGBTQI+ consultants—individuals with real-life experience and insight into the nuances of queer relationships and the consequences of non-consent. Their input ensures a more authentic and respectful portrayal of queer intimacy, grounded in emotional realism and mutual respect.
There’s a fine line between desire and coercion—but it doesn’t have to be blurry. Desire can be sexy: the tease, the waiting, the glance, the jealousy. These are all part of the natural rhythm of attraction and can be portrayed with nuance and consent. Yaoi creators can still build stories around passion and tension without crossing the boundary into coercion.
Fiction doesn’t have to mirror real life, but the values it reflects matter. And when it comes to love, lust, and everything in between, one thing will always remain true:
There’s nothing hotter than respect.
